What an eventful day I had on Monday! It was already planned to be a fairly eventful day as I was due to attend the PAC-UK / Yorkshire Adoption Consortium Conference on Education (more of this in another post).
Whilst ploughing through the usual Monday morning routine, my Littley was a bit of a mess with fussy difficult behaviour. Often I will stop everything and give her the attention she needs, however, I didn’t really have time, so was doing my best to jolly things along and just get them both to school. We were nearly there and she breaks down, wailing, weeping, (she’s very dramatic)
I think I’m going die.
Oh god. Here we go. Does it really have to be today? This morning? Of all mornings? (and some silent swearing …..) Whilst I’m busy drawing breath, composing myself to do some wondering she went on
There’s these big boys at school, keep saying they’re going to kill me …..
I manage to grab her and just cuddle, holding tightly to her shaking sobbing body and she continues
But they can’t really can they …
They would need a gun, it’s really the only way I can think of to kill someone, and you have to be 18 to have a gun don’t you? So they won’t have a gun, so they won’t be able to kill me, will they? Oh, I didn’t think of it like that.
Oh darling. Well done. You sorted that out yourself, just by talking about it. Isn’t that amazing.
Inside my head, as I’m sure you are thinking – she hasn’t figured that there are more ways to kill someone, that this is just a saying, that if someone is going to commit murder they are not going to be concerned about whether they are the right age to have that weapon or even if it is legal or not!
So here’s an 11 year old, thinking of things in a 3 year old way, expected to go to secondary school and function, safely, on her own, under threat, fearing for her life because of the stupid phrases that people use and the mindless threats that big boys make.
We avoided death – for that day.
Later, whilst in the conference, I got a text from school asking if I could give them a call. Erm, no actually I can’t, can they text me?
Oh, just wanted to update you. Biggey is saying to people she is pregnant.
Marvellous! School said, we haven’t discussed it with her, cos she hasn’t said it direct to staff. Oh well, that’ll be fine then. I suppose you do the same response if one of those big boys is saying he’s got a gun in school???? More silent swearing, mid-conference.
Here is a girl who runs away, associates with the ones we’d rather she didn’t, is a prime target for exploitation and this could (if she ever went anywhere) be true. Lying is also a classic reaction in attachment difficulties. So they ignored it. Great.
I sent a long text back with detailed wording of what to say, how to say it. They did but oh, it needs so much managing that again I wonder if it’s worth it.
We are not pregnant. No new baby. No choosing baby names. No knitting. No reason to keep her off school!!!!!
Death and new life is not happening in the Safehouse just yet.
How ironic that all this happens on the day I’m at a conference about how to help these children in school.